Of 700 Steps and Boiled Chickens

It was dark, we were grumpy, and we met our guide, Yonatan in the hotel lobby.  Yonatan is a member of the kibbutz and he’d be leading us up Masada to see the sun rise and then, later, to the Ein Gedi nature reserve.  We hopped in the jeep with driver Danny at the wheel and were off.

Fifteen minutes later, we were at the foot of Masada. Then we began to climb.  Again, it was hot, even before dawn.  After the first several steps up the east face of the mountain, we were all drenched with perspiration.  We stopped for water fairly frequently. About a third of the way up, dawn broke.  We were going at a moderate pace. The climb became steeper.  Most of the path consisted of stone treads and risers, which I think made the climb more difficult.  Ella and Sam remained ahead of Jennifer and me.  Yonatan stayed at the front. About two thirds of the way to the top, the sun began to rise.  A beautiful site over the hazy sea. Ten minutes later, we’d reached the top.  But, what’s this? The fence is locked? WTF? Yonatan tried yelling for a ranger at the summit. No dice.  OK, there’s no way we’re walking back down.  So, we did what all rugged Jews do: Hop the fence.  Of course, if you fall it’s about 5,000 feet down but, no worries.  Ella was easy.  She’s a feather. Sam, hardly the athlete, did OK.  Jen…well, what can we say…. She made it.  Nuff said.  I got over OK.

The Sherman Unit ascends Masada at dawn... (note sweat stains on Jen's back)

A great victory!  I was particularly proud of the kids.  They’d done extremely well going up that mountain. 

At the top, Yonatan told us the history of this great mountain: Home to Hasmonean kings, Herod, and the Romans. And, of course, site of the legendary failed Jewish revolt.  The legend holds that the 1,000 Jews on Masada all killed themselves rather than surrender to the Romans, but Yonatan indicated that only a few remains were found by archaeologists.  A mystery.   But who cares, it’s a good story. 

Sammy at Masada sunrise.

I digress.  So, Yigal Yadin and the other archaeologists did a great job of excavating the ruins, preserving, and rebuilding them.  The Northern Palace is exquisite.  Three levels with pieces of mosaic floor and faux marble preserved.  Corinthian capped columns preserved.  Huge cisterns for water, preserved.  Really extraordinary. 

'Twas to be another scorcher....

After a couple of hours, we were pooped, so we boarded the cable car for the two-minute trip back to the base of the mountain.  On the way down, Sam informed us that the climb up consisted of 700 steps.  It felt like 7,000.  I’m sorry but Jews don’t climb mountains.  We drive Lincolns.

We made it back to the kibbutz in time for breakfast at 9:30am.  Sumptuous. Then, we donned our bathing suits and sunscreen, piled back into the jeep with Danny and Yonatan and headed a tad north on 90 to the Ein Gedi Nature Reserve.  It’s difficult to describe Ein Gedi so I’ll let the photos do most of the talking.  Basically, it’s an oasis: lush greenery, multiple waterfalls, and pools fed by a natural spring.  Even after the 700 steps, we hiked to the four pools and waterfalls and, along with other fuzzy foreigners, wallowed in the cool, delicious waters.  Not a bad way to spend a 100F afternoon.

700 steps at dawn can induce sleepiness....

On the way out of Ein Gedi, we even spotted an Ibex.  An antelope-type animal that speaks Hebrew and Arabic.  

And that’s not all folks.  Following the Ein Gedi deliciousness we decided to push our luck and go the Dead Sea spa just up the road.  We said farewell to Yonatan and Danny and boarded the bus to what would become our time in Hell. 

Calgon, take me away! (to Ein Gedi Nature Reserve)

Do you remember that I mentioned it was hot?  So, we get to the spa at about 4pm, obtain our towels and then wait outside for the tractor train to the sea.  We’re all pretty much dying at this point.  Jennifer has lost her sense of humor.  The kids, who you’ll remember awoke with us at 3:45am, are wilting.  But here we are, waiting in Purgatory for the tractor-train to Hades.  Yes, I’m getting all biblical, but this is the Holy Land after all.  Minutes later we arrive at the sea’s edge and step into the salty stew. 

Boiled chicken anyone? (in the Dead Sea)

I’ve never immersed myself in hotter water.  As I progressed into the substance I began to feel like a boiled chicken.  Welcome to Hell.  But, this was the Dead Sea and, dammit, I was going to float even if it killed me.  The kids stepped in oh-so-tentatively.  Ella almost ran in the other direction. But, eventually, we all made it out to the little floaty thing under a shelter in the swimming area with the few other crazies who found themselves on the beach that day.  After several minutes of simmering, I began to feel a bit uncomfortable. Suffice it to say, the ‘ol Jewels were catching fire.  Never noticed a problem down there before but the salt doesn’t lie.  Hashem was punishing me for something, no doubt. So, I floated for a few minutes then fled with Ella while Sam and Jen stuck it out a bit longer.  Then Ella got a bit of salt in her eye and it was all over.  Satan had won, but it he was not done with us yet. (Note: “Satan” is a Hebrew word that means “obstacle.”)

Mud Girrrrrrl....at the Dead Sea.

We flushed Ella’s eye while waiting for the Purgatory train back to Salvation where, still not satisfied that we’d done enough, we all decided to get ourselves dirty and cake-on ostensibly “therapeutic” Dead Sea mud.  There is an actual station for this at the spa.  We bellied up to the mud bucket and began slathering with some fellow idiots from Canada and Israel. 

It wasn’t long before Sam complained that his face was beginning to burn off and, me being the proud papa, I needed to get a snapshot.  So, I scurried to rinse myself off in the lukewarm shower quickly and then get the camera.  Sam yelled “Take the damned picture dad. I’m burning!”  So I took two (LOL).  Ella, already burning, was gone from the scene only to return with slathered legs and arms for a photo…not to be outdone by brother.

Stick forks in our butts and turn us over. We were done.  Back to the hotel for some pool time before dinner.  A great dinner followed by more pool time after dark.  How the kids were still going I cannot explain. They’d been to Hell and back.  Jen was long gone, snoozing in the room with glasses on and book on chest.